Wise is hard

It's not about being heartless. It's more difficult to know what's wise and to control yourself from doing what you want to tho you can do it, than declaraing your love and passion openly. Everytime someone has to be wise in order to save others tho that person has to attend his own bleeding funeral with no one but herself to attend it. It's sad and strong while no one knows what you're tackling. Telling what you're going through is easy, holding back is hard, it's very hard to resist someone while you want someone to talk to. It's heartbreaking but no one understands.

Wrong engagement

I tried to engage myself to people again but a piece, a big one, was constantly melting away the thought of being happy. I wasn't happy it was just a label i gave to my engagement. But illusions and the world are so much of a synonym that i sometimes illus-ionize the world and forget that reality is ugly, it has no heart, it is give and take on strict scale. Why is it too difficult to forget the taste of Allah's love? Once you have tasted the real, the very purest of Allah's love, you just can't escape it, no matter how much lies you tell yourselves. No other engagement is then engaging, it is just you and Allah.

{For when Iman is in his heart, no evil could occupy the same space}

Love

Love is never about molding others and only loving the already lovely features of others but it is about dealing and living with imperfections that maybe darker than their skin color, their bright faces and their words. Love is never about picking up all the good traits and leaving the bad right there, no it isn’t love, it is as if you pick and shop various stuff from market, leaving the already open, messed up things on the rack. Humans are not things, Humans breath, they live, they have a pumping heart, that sometimes ache because of your false pickings, your unreal expectations. You shouldn’t just scatter your wants all over the place while not even bothering a single thing about the other one. It isn’t love, it is called being satisfied with yourself and being overly self-obsessed while knowing you have someone who is less adorable, less smart, just less something from you. You satisfy your superiority need that’s all you’re doing, it isn’t love, It isn’t

                                                                                

Direction

Compass will not benefit you, if you’re not willing to follow it, same as Quran, you don’t get benefit unless you’re willing to follow it.

Paper boats

This world is an ocean, with waves quivering in anger and destruction, always ready to put us down, we are the boats, so tedious and lean, stumbling from one wave to another, trying to just find that stable zone/phase of the ocean where no force, no restriction is against us but this ocean was design to break us, to break the paper boats that we are, so we can sink in the water of mercy and find the One we have left far under the seas of our hearts; our lord. This world will never go against what it was designed for, we need to acknowledge that world is the smile with ulcer, always hurting once you have laughed. But with Allah your smile is always that starts from the heart and ends on the lips. This place is forever an ache and an everlasting zone, comforting stable state, we all are looking for, doesn’t exist. But the designer of the both worlds call out to us 5 times a day how do we respond? And how much? The Supreme lord awaits us to just ask one, just one time of His mercy and blessing and all our filth is cleaned and we are blessed with more than what we desire. That Allah has the everlasting happiness and success. Flee towards Him, lets flee towards Him before we hit the shore which has nothing but sand to offer.

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Just tired

But I am not going wrong I am just lost. How can I decide to be any one thing out of so many characters I know? I am puzzled and in dilemmatic situation to choose. What is good or bad, what people want or what they don’t, I care or I don’t. Trying so hard to be perfect yet still expected to be someone nicer. How do I choose? I am no smart person. I am dumb and I mean that, I learn slow, I know that, I have to struggle for things I don’t just get them. But what should I be? Whom should I be? I am torn, I am sick of choosing now. At the end am hurting others one way or the other and I am being sorry for all the ache I have given and the marks I can’t erase and then I question myself what good have I ever brought? Am I really a bad person?