Wrong engagement

I tried to engage myself to people again but a piece, a big one, was constantly melting away the thought of being happy. I wasn't happy it was just a label i gave to my engagement. But illusions and the world are so much of a synonym that i sometimes illus-ionize the world and forget that reality is ugly, it has no heart, it is give and take on strict scale. Why is it too difficult to forget the taste of Allah's love? Once you have tasted the real, the very purest of Allah's love, you just can't escape it, no matter how much lies you tell yourselves. No other engagement is then engaging, it is just you and Allah.

{For when Iman is in his heart, no evil could occupy the same space}

Being adult

In adult life, It doesn’t matter how dirty, less faithful or messed up others past or even present is, only people who are sweet, respecting enough and friendly enough to make us smile and just show a mere care are enough for us to care and adore back. Adult life is really a mess where you’re never sure if you’re doing the right thing, with the right people, for the right purpose, you just do and risk it all out, learning if failed and earning if succeeded. I always thought that life was cruel to those who did wrong to others and themselves and those were misery less who didn’t while justice of Allah was right in front of me but in adult life I saw people successfully making their way up, though their deed stank worse than died crow but you know what justice of Allah is still there. It’s just now that it is hidden, now it is solely b/w Allah and the people. Allah now not only free us but see quietly too that who is even after that open rope going to come back  to Him, want from Him and who is fleeing away from Him, disgracing His blessings in all the ways possible. Being an adult doesn’t mean you get to talk dirty openly, not even thinking twice what crap you’re spilling out, being an adult doesn’t mean you get to touch women bodies, NO. It is about being more sensible, not only just seeing your choices but others too and accepting and respecting them. It is about caging the wild sensations ready to just free themselves from the ropes and do something that after doing, you regret. Stains of temptations aren’t visible but they last a life time. Controlling temptations maybe really difficult and only strong willed and focused person can do, fighting everything inside of him when everyone is doing it but those who are following their temptations are the weakest, they are not even for a second doing anything brave or something to be labeled as love or true feelings, they are playing with others and themselves as well. They just don’t understand their life and bad choices aren’t just affecting them, if it did it wouldn’t have mattered that much but it doesn’t work like that, people connected to him gets affected, in every way. And that’s why instead of being selfish in their decisions and actions they need to take a deep breath and think wisely for a second that what is their action actually going to do?