the end

 

It seems that nothing is to take this wretched dulness away

While the world burns of war

And I doom into an unreasonable future so unfitting in the present

I crave a gathering but that’s not all

I crave of being relied upon, I crave of relying

I dream of being known, I dream of knowing 

I feel an empty, crunched up can

Not sure of what it can do, man

The silent, visible unrest

Swallowing up my careful nest

The world is ending it seems

Where do I wanna be?

What to be when I ‘grow’?

Questions, I hardly know

Show me a flicker of hope

Where do all these 30 years old go?

Age, world, media and time

What’s really my crime?

I suffer of unknown

Plans on hold

Maybe the death of the soul?

Maybe too isolated in the throne?

I certainly can’t have it all

Yet I want, want and want it all

I wonder how people are spending time

My loved ones and all online

Something is off, I can say that much

World, me or all of us.

what do you call it?

 

What do you call it 

When you’ve grown but only weeds?

It’s for all to see

Careful water and spendings on the ‘fixes’

Only help it mask the stitches

My eyes, stealing away from gaze

My mind’s away

What do you call it

When you used to know what you wanted

Now there’s a gosht living in this skin

What do you call it

When the world has spun you out of its orbit?

Your oxygen lent, your days owned

What do you call it

When you’re alive, only through the pretence?

The cave of self betrayal and despair runs too deep

What do you call it when you don’t want to live

But you don’t die?

echoes of me

 

A distant echo, that’s me

Roots forgotten, fire on its ending 

Soul binded and heart chasing 

I have changed beyond remembering 

Meeting an old friend or two

What a lovely time travel

I haven’t touched my soul

Been a while since I’ve run its course

Meeting a soul reminded me of my own

The limits of being me,

The cravings of the being

welcome home!

Welcome home!

Such a long while ever since

Must have been heavy,

Lugging you and me

In theatricals of life 

And many self-inflicted webs

You’d been an oar in the murky ebbs

I forgot the point

My shoulders running blind

Eyesight’s pretty weak,

Though pretend to look far off the creek

I pretend to hide

Days and days of shallow life

I’m no saint

I’m no magic

I have been lost

I have been banished

Oh my loveliest piece of heart

Sorry, I haven’t been able to sigh

Oh! How I love to love you

This beautiful nature in me that just blooms

You’ve the lover in me, stunned

I’m rarely me, so blunt!

You’re the dream come true

Wishes granted for some old days of blue

burn in hell

I was a girl with fresh wings

Skin of a 25 aged spring

wings of a two

The sparkles lit my mind

I took your arrows for fire wood

I was wrong, more times than I recall

You cut my tree and made a fire

You called it love, liar

A fever, it was, I reckoned too late

Two times, I let you dig my grave

 A missed manual in life?

Or just a naive girl so far?

Do these demons haunt you too?

Did you lose sleep since you crushed my soul?

Wounded and bloody , I limped

Towards  life, a new

Seeing you intertwined with someone new

The path only we knew

Or as I thought to be true

How dare you?

I have been in torment of a sort

I wish you hell and cast a curse

I could hurt you, I will

You mom, your sister and your dad

All of you are snakes in masks

Called me names and judged me for the roots

Rotten, all of you!

The day I met you or any of those looters

Those days were repayment of my worst

I know I am making it to the heaven

I have done my time in hell, when I was with you

You caged me and walked right on me

Used my money to hide your disgusting boy lackings

Shoutout to your dad

One big loser of a man

First shitty thing he did was to birth you or whatever its a kin

Second was making me cry and taking my money in the name of help

To your family, a group of looters

Who think they’re decent humans

I have done my time in hell

Oh! Yes the time I have spent with you then

Your time remains un-clocked 

I promised you its not going to miss a spot

To a total failure of a boy, you have birthed

You really would have done

A good deed, for once

To let your first die

When God really tried

To the boy who think he’s not enough

Who trembles like a bug

I assure you, you are exactly that

Your honesty can go to hell

In the name of truth you knifed my heart

I release you from my memory

You belong to a different cage

I send you off, now

With prayers of your agony and frown

The biggest battle of my life

A demon in the skin of a male swine

You soul crushers and stinky humans

I wish you the worst demons!

pals

 

You see me, I see you too

Two buddies swimming through

Distance and roots of varied colors

We splash like waves running into each other

‘I though therapy was working’

Below the belt, even for you my friend

I don’t hate you or think you’re mean

You’re but a mirror to me

At times a bigger, roaring sis

Yet you’re terrified of the sins

I wash my hands on the same sink

You got your flaws, just a human being

I want to tell you my honesty

I’m reminded how I’ve not been

Honest, real and myself

No, I just couldn’t bring

I keep distancing

I know you can tell

Maybe that’s why you try to fight my fights

You’re a kind one, you’re my friend

I love you pal, you’re such a gem

We are earth poles of the extreme ends

I give a way, ‘maybe this time!’

You block doors, ‘Why even try?’

to be loved by you

 

A dream, you and me

We are home with candles lit

I secretly adore you honey

To my surprise I’m in for a treat

My body and brain wants you

We rustle like autumn leaves

Your careful hands and the love filled kisses

Painted across my knees

I’m so happy I could die

You are a galaxy that bring its own skies

You get eager to let my stars shine

O! To be loved by you

Dreamy home

 

A peek a boo in the streets

Beautiful soul exchange in the sheets

You’re my dreamy house

With that smile you go around

A snorty laughter, a careful posture

You’ve stood for me, miles and miles above else

You make this life better

You’re the shoulder that stays

Your lips soak them tears

You are a man of real deal

Once I heard you scared of jinxing it

I’m home with you

You’re my dreamy home

measure of performance?

 

They say you are what you do

I ask what if you couldn’t?

Are we really a measure of our performance?

Am I driving myself crazy again?

Is it another obstacle to delay the initiation?

Are my brain cells all over-powering?

Am I not ready to just do it?

I say you are what you are

I say you are undefined

Sometimes its just dark

You got to take that dark alley to hit that spot

All the beautiful places are not discovered 

And that’s a beautiful thought